From One Of Granny's Old Jokes Poem by Steve Howard

I wanted me a polar bear.
I made a plan both bright and bold.
Then traveled to the frozen north,
where all is raw and cold.
I cut a hole there in the ice.
Cut it right there in the floe,
until I could see the frigid sea,
lying many feet below.
I took a bag of frozen peas,
placed them round the hole just so,
and waited for a bear to come,
which wasn't long you know.
Then there beneath the northern lights,
somewhere near the pole,
when a bear came up to take a pea,
I kicked him square in the ice hole.