Fur Coat Toupee Poem by VICTORIA GEORGE

I had a moth eaten fur coat
That had seen a much better day
I think it was made from a goat
I thought it might sell on e-Bay

I chopped it up into small squares
And hoped for some gullible mugs
To bald men without any hair
They’d make smart believable ‘rugs’

I sold quite a few at the start
My plan was going quite well
But then really it all fell apart
When I received this abusive email:

“I tried this thing on, as you do..
It looked like a greasy black rat
When I went for a walk by the zoo
I was followed back home by a yak”

I gave all these guys my cash float
I just couldn’t take all the abuse
I then found the label for my fur coat
It said “Ninety nine per cent moose”

copyright Victoria George