Gender Rolls Poem by David Welch

I am a baker in a quaint, small town,
for my artisan breads the people come 'round,
Tuscan and baguettes by the dozen are sold,
but most people come here for my Gender Rolls.

I came up with them on a cool day last year,
a batch I've been baking had come out all weird,
some came out all golden, slight and petite,
others were brown, all bulked and manly.

Specialization will move the product,
so I fiddled, until a stroke of luck:
feminine rolls that were soft, light and sweet,
masculine rolls, tasting strongly of meat.

The female rolls were a joy to look upon,
but they went bad quickly, best eaten when young,
the male rolls had flavors bold and very strong,
many were eating only them before long.

And that's where the trouble truly began,
that male rolls sold better some would not stand,
they said the female rolls should get a leg up,
that I undersold them, did not make enough.

Other people got mad that I had the gall
to assign gender to dinner rolls at all,
they said it was a form of sexist abuse,
and that I should let the dinner rolls chose!

What if the dinners rolls did not fit well,
what if trying to be a gender was hell?
That said the it was presumptuous of me,
what if the roll identified as taffy?

I did not at first believe they were for real,
that they were just snowflakes, shouting their ‘feels, '
until the day they blockaded my store,
then staged a ‘die in, ' lying on my floor!

The easiest route would've been to backtrack,
but a man like me just ain't wired like that,
so I posted a sign, this ‘creators' word,
‘When it comes to rolls, there are just two genders.'

Some warned that this would destroy my sales,
but to this day I sell them all without fail,
the Red Pill crowd can't get enough of it,
what can I say? Gender Rolls are a hit!

Order now and I will custom carve the male or female symbols into your batch. No extra charge!