Gilbert Khuzwayo, We Will Look At The Sun And Remember You Poem by Diana van den Berg

Siyakala, siyakala, uGilbert wethu shonile.
We,
and your two wives, your children,
your fellow grooms, the stable management, the committee, the
horse-owners,
the horses, the children who come here for riding lessons on the school
ponies,
their parents, riding members, non-riding members, friends of members,
the people who delivered or collected,
in fact, everyone you came into contact with,
- whether once in your life - or every day -
we cry our hearts
empty
and raw.

Gilbert, the rivers overflow with our tears.
The heavens echo with our calls to you.
Our hearts are breaking.
We don't understand
why you had to go,
but God does.
He took you early because
He needed another angel in Heaven
and He chose you,
of all indunas,
to be an induna of other angels
because you were the very best induna here on earth.

You taught us all.
You made us smile.
You made us laugh.
We were always happier
because of you.
We were wiser
because of your wisdom.
You were always happy.
You calmed the angry.
You lifted the spirits of the sad.
You warmed the hearts of the lonely.
You comforted the worried.
The horses were shinier,
happier,
healthier,
better cared for
because of you.
We all loved you,
respected you,
listened to you,
did as you asked,
asked your advice.
You were our sunshine on cloudy days,
our cool breeze in the burning heat of summer,
our warmth in wintry weather,
our shining light, a very present help, in times of trouble.
You never turned anyone away empty-handed -
you always had time for everyone -
if there was no time, you made the time.
We are so glad that you have no more pain.
No harm can touch you ever again
where you carry out your further tasks
for God and all humanity,
the way you did here on earth
for us all and for our beautiful horses,
with love in your heart for all.
You were too good to remain on earth.
You belong in Heaven
with God and the other angels.
Your laughter,
will live on
in the wind,
the hum and clatter of the tractor,
the clanging of the trolleys,
the loud whinnies and soft nickers of the horses,
the sweeping of the brooms.
It will reverberate through the stableyard,
and the hearts of your wives,
your children,
your family,
and your family here at the stables,
for we were all your family.
You were Our Gilbert, Our Macici.
You are still Our Macici, Our Gilbert.
You will always be Our Gilbert, Our Macici.
We will turn our heads
or come round corners,
expecting to see your smiling, happy face -
and we will.
It will be in the sunshine,
the blue of the sky,
the green of the grass and the trees,
the neatness and cleanliness of the stableyard,
the smiles and the greetings of the grooms,
once the time for tears is over.
We will ask you for the same advice,
the same information, the same help,
and we will feel your presence,
and hear your voice in the stillness of our hearts,
leading us, guiding us, helping us
as you always did.
We will read your answers and your messages in the sky -
fluffy white common sense against ocean blue in the working day,
vibrant, sensitive swirls and splashes -
the colours of dreams and hopes -
at the rising and the setting of the sun,
and reassuring starlight and moonglow in the dark, dark night.
Do you remember how you and I used to joke,
- amongst so many other things,
about your grey tractor-horse
that you fed with petrol?
Malume cries for his Gilbert too.
Every single one of us has our own special memories
of you,
your smiles,
your laughter
your warmth.
You were an induna par excellence.
You never mis-used your position.
Everyone looked up to you, looked for you, relied upon you.
Your wives and children must be so very, very proud
that so many, many people loved and respected you so very, very much.
Now you are an induna amongst the angels,
But we will always have Gilbert at the stables.
Your laughter and your voice will ring everywhere.
We will look for you when we hear the tractor starting.
We will see you wave above its noise
and carrying on with your daily tasks with excellence.
We will hear you laughing and joking with the grooms
and calling out to each other as you work
in the harmony that is Gilbert.
There will come a time that our tears will slowly dry
although that seems impossible now.
When that time comes
we will remember you with smiles in our heart.
We will forever remember your laughter, your smiles,
your good nature,
your friendship,
your unstinting help.
We will not forget you.
We cannot forget you.
You are a part of our lives.
We will carry you here in our hearts.
You will live forever in our memory.
You will live in the calls of our horses.
Each time they whinny or nicker, there will be a message for you, too.
Your spirit will be with us always.
None of us, alone, can carry the light
that you carried in our lives,
so we will have to help each other carry on your work
of lighting up the lives of all around us.
We will do that.
We will do it for you
and we will look at the sun - setting, rising, shining on high -
and we will remember you.
That is all that is left that we can do for you, now.
We thank you for giving us and the stables and the horses
so much of your life and your love.
We are all the richer for your gift.
And God, please take care of Our Gilbert, Our Macici.
Make him feel at home amongst the other angels.
They will love him too, we know.
Nkosi siyacela ukuthi
izinsuku zika Gilbert zibe nokukhanya
njengoba uGilbert kade eletha ukukhanya
empilweni yethu sonke
ebesisebenzisana naye.
We loved you, Gilbert.
We love you still.
We will always love you.
We mourn for you,
but we don't want our tears to spoil
your happiness at being an angel of God.
You will want us to pick up our hearts and carry your light,
I can hear you telling us not to cry,
but Gilbert, grant us our time to cry.
It will help us heal.
We will not cry forever, Gilbert.
We promise that.
When we have overcome the irrepressible tears,
we will stop mourning your death,
and we will again be happier because of you,
and we will celebrate your life instead
and we will carry your light
for you,
together,
because of you,
and with you,
because your spirit will be with us
helping us do that.
But for now
siyakala, siyakala, uGilbert wethu shonile.

- from Diana van den Berg and Flicka - on behalf of everyone who loves you

17 January 2001