! ! Give Her One This Christmas Poem by Michael Shepherd

How could I not know
‘what she wants for Christmas’ –
when hundreds of emails
spam it to me every Advent day,
and right through unsilent night
in several languages…

a manliness increased in every measure;
a bulk purchase of blue pills for
the bedside drawer; and – since it can be
gift-wrapped more easily than me myself –
an imitation designer watch: to register
how late for work we’re going to be
day after day; night after night;

and perhaps, for those still single friends,
(as these gifts might look inappropriate…)
a Russian bride? (see airbrushed photo attached..)

And what makes you think
they won’t target children next with these…?
‘Is your boy fit to become
an alpha male in your community…?
buy him our Junior SuperMale Set; complete
with full instructions on DVD…’

Happy Giftmas, one and all…