Hand Grenade In An Oakbox Poem by Angela Bontle Ditumiso

Reality I repudiated
Now I'm fragmented
My soul is tormented
I keep on reliving the day I lost it all
The moment right before my fall
All signs were there
But I was fooled by love

Shooting pain to my heart
With bleeding eyes I look to the skyline
Tears laugh as they dine
They make a railway line
On my contours
They tour
my cheeks
In the night

No one sees my pain because of lack of light
The stars are blurry
They mimic my vision
Flimsy eyes in the dark
I hug the night in comfort
Somebody build me a fort
To protect me against my thought

There's turmoil brewing in my mind
Memories unkind
Provoking me to spit tears with my oculus
Water the color of red wine cover my hands
Holding on to a shattered glass I sliced my arteries
I gave my heart away
Fooled by flattery

I was charmed by a guy
Bought his every lie
Only for me to nearly die
He said he had a surprise for me
And it was a surprise indeed

Now close your eyes he said
He put something in my hands
There I want you to have my heart he bellowed
A moment of silence and a deafening sound later
I had to negotiate to keep my life

Hand grenade in an oak box
As it turned out there was a hand grenade in an oak box
I said hand grenade
My heart is a shattered glass
Destroyed by the blast

My arms got amputated
I spent months sedated
Medicated
To numb the pain
But my heart and soul sing in harmony
Screaming in agony
He committed a felony
Ran away and left me to die

He said he loved me but it was a lie
I know so
His attempt to kill me was premeditated
A hand grenade in an oak box
He was incarcerated
Behind bars he wrote a letter of no regret
The only emotion I could afford was to fret

My life seems contabescent
I'm visited by thoughts indecent
Nothing good lingers
My future fell to the ground with my fingers
I lost the hands that held hope
My arms got amputated
After a grenade detonated