Happy Birthday...'Mom' Poem by Shilesha Johnson

I want so badly to pick up the phone
Call you and wish you a happy birthday on my own
Without anyone giving you my message
Just want you to see that somehow you’re still a blessing
I know that you haven't called me for mine
For the past two years
But maybe you will next time
I still have ity bity hope
And I'm doing everything in my power
To make sure that doesn't grow
Cause see every time I try to believe again
YOU disappoint me and something happens
I want so badly to hear your voice
But your actions aren’t really giving me much of a choice
I'm trying so badly to prevent from getting hurt
Every time I try to open my heart up to you again
You make me fell less then dirt
And I already know that you can't be trusted
And I already know that you’re filled with lies
I also know that if I call you today
All you’re going to do is fill me up with hope inside
Hope; that you never intended to fulfill
And sometimes I wish that I could make time stand still
So that I could re-live the good times with you
Every now and again
Re-live the moments where it felt like
I was your best friend
But enough about me because today is your day
The day you were conceived so let me jus bow down and pray
And thank god for bringing you into this world
Cause without you here
No one would even know this girl
I wouldn't even exist
So although you may not have wanted me here
GOD had his purpose
And I'm going to do all I can to fulfill it
And become the women he created me to be
Use all of the talents and abilities
He blessed me with to my full destiny
And I won't stop until I reach my full potential
Maybe I should give you a writing utensil
So that I could write down my birthday for you
Maybe ill get a call this year! !
Forget it…
There’s no use
In tryin
Or letting myself get up to the point where I can’t stop cryin
If I call you you’re going to hurt me more
Jus like you always do
And I haven't spoken to you in months
But I send out my love
Happy birthday 'mom'
Sincerely the mysterious girl u carried for nine months