Have You Realized My Facade? Poem by Sara Hol

Do you feel the pain I feel
or reap the emotions that I fake,
have you realized my facade
of pretending that everything is okay.

Do you wonder why I am always smiling
or has the thought never crossed your mind,
at night when the time stops
my life is stuck on rewind.

My heart tears itself open a new hole
as I dig deeper to climb inside,
is this another depression
or just a reoccurring fear?
Another precaution just to save myself
or is a death wish coming near..