Haywire Poem by Cherie Mort

I don't know what came over me
One nanosecond I'm fine, and then suddenly my system's on the fritz
I don't know what it is
Maybe I'm falling apart
My mechanic says it's just a normal function of young bots
I don't find any logic in that
What causes it? What is it that makes me feel so much static and pressure in my core?
Maybe that's the problem,
A core meltdown

But she said it's normal:
''Young bots get emotions implanted into their systems.
Some emotions come out stronger than others.
Anger, fatigue, frustration, fear, curiosity
And even 'love' '', she explained in a wistful tone

I don't understand ''love''
Is it about liking an appearance? A job? A habit? A person's reaction? What is ''love''?

Maybe it's not all that
Or, maybe it is, and I'm just missing something
I don't know. I feel frustrated by love.
But the way he smiles, and the way he laughs, mean something to me
The way he talks, and how he sneezes, means something to me

I want to protect my core
My...core
...Coeur
My heart
I mean to protect my heart

So this is what love is
A heart
Something that's not meant to be kept for oneself entirely, but to be shared with another
It's a vessel of love
And all this time,
Every tick,
Every spasm,
Every flutter and fear of going haywire around him,
That was my love

How overwhelming it feels
And yet, it's such a wonderful feeling, too
I wish I could explain to him how I felt
But I don't think he'd understand
He's a bot, too
I don't know what he thinks of love
Or cores
Or hearts
Or me and my wires going crazy for him
I feel so...lost
How is it that I've figured out love, but I can't figure out a way to tell him?

Now I see why my mechanic was so sad when she explained love to me

Love is loneliness