Heart Goes Fonder Poem by Bamidele Adeniyi
Heart Goes Fonder
While you sleep
miles away from me
your thoughts consume me
like the sun
borrows radiance from
your face
Wonder if the world
is under one sky
that lits up with moonlight
Shall I make the moon you stare a surface
where I pour my emotions
or shall I make it
a mirror to see your wonderful reflections?
I am miles away
lingering in your perfume
heaving a deep sigh
breathing with no sleep
for your absence melts the wax of my heart
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/23/2024 6:44:40 PM # 1.0.0.1119
Bamidele, the ESL(?) errors (you stare a surface? that lits up?) hurt this poem. A bigger problem is those abstract words (thoughts, emotions) that tell the reader what you're feeling but don't invite him in. Maybe immerse yourself in some good contemporary poetry in English (Mary Oliver, Billy Collins) before you continue writing? If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC
Thank you Jefferson. I shall look into your corrections