Henrietta Hogglesbottom Poem by Richard D Remler

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Henrietta Hogglesbottom,
Of North-South, East-West Street
Hated everything about herself,
And it all started
With her feet.

"They are way too big!
Much, much too big
For a girl of only seven.
Why, I shouldn't have
Big feet like these
Until I'm at least
Eleven."

The next thing on her
Long, long list
Were the knobby knees
She had.
And every time she
Saw those knees,
They made her feel
So very sad.

"They're not just
Only knobby, "
Henrietta said,
Fighting back a tear.
"They make me look
Just like a Giraffe.
And that can't be good.
Oh dear."

But Henrietta Hogglesbottom
Did not stop there
At all.
Another thing
That bothered her
Was that she was
An inch
Too tall.

Not half an inch,
Nor half-half an inch,
But the biggest inch
That she could find.
Which made her twice as tall
As several of the other
Kids combined.

Henrietta Hogglesbottom
Also did not like
Her toes.
And what distressed her
Even more,
Was her little
Bobbin nose.

"It is too small.
Too small, indeed!
A nose with shape
Is what I need.
A nose defined,
And curved just right.
A nose that does not
Snore at night."

She gazed into the Mirror,
And frowned a
Fretful frown.
Everything about her
Seemed to flip-flop
Upside down.

"I hate my freckles, "
She softly said.
"They're everywhere
Upon my head,
My arms, my hands,
My neck and cheeks.
I've had them for
A million weeks."

"And that's not good,
Not good for me.
For I know others see
The me I see.
And freckles are not
Fun to own.
Oh, I hope they're gone
When I am grown."

She did not like
Her fingernails.
They were short,
Quite dull and fat.
They looked just
Like her little brothers,
And she did not
Care for that.

She did not like her curls,
Nor the color of her eyes.
She did not like her
"How are you's"
Any more than her
"Goodbye's."

She did not care
To have
Red hair
Not a little.
Not at all,
She'd have preferred
Black hair,
Or brown,
Something far more common
Than the red
She had to
Wear through town.

For Henrietta Hogglesbottom,
Of North-South, East-West Street,
Hated everything about herself,
From her head down to her feet.

From her toe-tips to her ear lobes,
Henrietta was never satisfied.
If a compliment ever came her way,
It was at once denied.

She was not happy with a
Single thing
The Fates had given her.
There was always something
Out of reach
Of which she would
Prefer.

"My eyes aren't very pretty, "
She admitted with a sigh.
"And I guess they'll always be
This way,
No matter what I try."

"My teeth are kind of crooked,
In a crooked sort of way.
They haven't changed a smidgen,
And I've been smiling all day."

She shook her head
And glanced down,
Her crooked smile changing
To a frown.

And she shook her head
Quite hopelessly,
Seeing things only
As they seem
To be.

"And my ears.
My ears.
They're immense.
They do not make
A bit of sense.
My head's so small
And they're so big.
They're an awfully
Large
Thingamajigg...
They're like an
Awful nightmare dream.
And if they get any bigger,
I will scream."

She fidgeted,
And tapped her toes,
Thought deeply as she
Scratched her nose.
And chewed on her lip
In mid-debate.
"Maybe things will be better
When I'm finally eight."


Copyright © MMXI Richard D. Remler


**A Children's Tale**