Her, You Used To Be Poem by Andrus Cassian

Hey there
Uh hey
hey there Sorceress
hey there Sarah
How have you been
How have you been holding up
I've been alright
I've been okay
Why I choose now since last November
Why I choose now since last Thanksgiving
to say a word to you
to say something to you
Well I don't have a valid reason
well not yet
just listen
I just want you to comprehend something
understand something for the last time
Yes, about the same thing I've been trying for years
for you to see
Yes I know
we both know the whole story
I've told it so many times
in so much detail
I remember all the memories like a 3D feature film
Her
You were Her to me
You were everything I could possibly want
Somehow you got into my head
and I believed I've done nothing wrong
and I believed that my world was only held up
by the love I gave you
I cast out family and friends to be with you
I lost myself trying to keep you sane
yet I'm the one who became insane
Irony
I tried to save you while killing myself
drowning in your sorrow
and the thought of it all still fills me with tears
Now I retain that growing fear
that you will reincarnate and I will feel that way again
I may have grown up
but I'm still an 8th grader inside
8th grade is when my life started
8th grade is when I was on my way to learn what life was
Do you remember the jacket I gave to you
to wear when you got cold...
You dont...typical
You dont...guess I'm the only one
It still smells like you...
It still smelled like you...
I can admit I used to be so obsessed with you
You were everything I had left
when I lost everything...
You were all I had
when my whole world fell to rubble
but I couldn't hold onto you long enough
but I already know how this ended
Cause now 'the situation' is all you see
now 'the situation' is all you think about
and I've never said it before
but it all made me sick
because you were mine first
but I've learned to let it go
For now the situation is
I don't care about you anymore
I don't just care about you anymore
I'm glad you don't say a word to me
I'm glad you don't talk about seeing me
I'm glad you'd rather be somewhere else
than with me
I'd rather be anywhere than have you walk back into my life
I don't need, I don't need it to happen again
I don't care...but for some reason
but for some reason
you're still on my mind
more than you need to be
Give me back what is not yours to have
Give me back what is not yours to have
Give me back my thoughts
give me back my brain
give me back my heart
I've erased your name
torched all the pictures in my memory frame
You were my only one
I will admit
You were my only one
but you make me sick
so sick
and I...I
I'm done