Here Comes The Bride, There Goes The Bride, Here Comes The Bride, There Goes The Bride, (Repeat 21 Times More) Poem by Joe Rosochacki

Born Linda Lou Taylor this woman had had her thing with men,
Having married 23 of them,
Now she finds it lonely and sees the possibility of going to the altar or court again.
Would you be number 24?
There is something wrong with her,
She puts Elizabeth Taylor, (is she related?) ,
Mickey Rooney and King Henry VIII,

To shame, it's plain to see that is true
She’s not a Hollywood Star/Starlit or even royal,
Maybe she’s a black widow?
She had names Scott, Street, Smith, Moyer,
Massie, Chandler, and Wolfe to name a few,

But you say this woman is daft?
How can you say this after one marriage,
to Fred Chadwick lasted only a day and half?

Not even a inmate would escape,
Her matrimonial clutches,
The strangest exchange of vows took place at the Indiana Reformatory at Pendleton to a one-eyed inmate named Tom Stutzman,
whom she said was wrongly convicted of rape.

Added to the twists and trysts,
The many husbands of Linda Wolfe include a convict,
a vending machine repairman,
barmen and brawlers,
electricians and plumbers,
musicians and machinists.

She had always had different wedding apparel for them,
Wolfe has been married in front of judges and priests,
in grand halls and living rooms.
The bride wore a white taffeta gown.
The bride wore a yellow, two-piece suit.
The bride wore denim.

There wasn’t any doubt,
That Linda collection of menagerie of men,
it almost as though she collected them,
Two of her husbands were gay.
Two were homeless.
A few stepped out on her.
One choked her and turned her lip inside out.

Her notoriety was soon on TV with her elation
'I've been on
Joan Rivers,
Geraldo,
Phil Donahue. He got real fresh with me, ' Wolfe said.
'I've been on Maury. I liked Maury. …”
To bad that she knows nothing about familial relation,
She has children but there is a little communication,

To speak off, she sits at home, lonely she sits sedated,
There’s Ruth, who has three daughters.
Becky is on her third marriage.
Melody was a lingerie model.
Robert died of cancer.
Louis is in prison for a drug-related offense.
Joe and Dan round out the set of siblings,
all of whom endured a cavalcade of stepfathers
and suitors who they sometimes liked and sometimes hated.

“They don’t come around me, ” Wolfe said of her brood.
“They’ve got their own lives to live. Some of them is high-headed.”
Becky visits Wolfe occasionally.
She said the kids try not to discuss their mother’s marital odyssey
--not because they’re mad, but because they’re busy.
No wonder she’s lonely.

(2-25-09)