Hexperience Poem by Denis Martindale

The wizard was quite new to it,
He tried to pick his words,
For magic didn't care one bit
If wizards thought like nerds...
If wizards conjured up a spell
And language wasn't learned,
Then they could simply go to Hell
If wisdom wasn't earned...

A wonky wand was no excuse,
The girls were not impressed,
It wasn't something folks would choose
If folks would do their best...
And floppy hats get equal stick,
For leaning left or right,
Or front or back, well take your pick,
Each looks a sad old sight...

And as for brooms, what can we say?
Loose bristles falling out
And pretty soon they roll away,
Here, there and all about...
Watch out for splinters, if you're wise,
As they'll sneak up on you
And quickly bring tears to your eyes
When you don't want them to!

The wizard phoned his friend at work!
'What does HIMTARKO mean? '
The friend told him he was a berk,
'Look down, your legs are green! '
Ten wizards tried to cheer him up...
There, as sick as a dog...
'Come on, now, drink! Yes, drain the cup! '
He turned into a frog!

He croaked complaints as they checked books!
They cast spells day and night!
He gave them all such dirty looks,
For none could solve his plight!
Their magic wasn't worth a dime!
Now magic's not his scene...
Frog potions wear off after time,
Alas, his legs stayed green...


Denis Martindale, copyright, October 2012.