High Tech, High Check Poem by Ima Ryma

Ah - the ways to alter the mind,
And so the grownups won't find out.
Awesome orifice tricks to find,
Children are so clever - no doubt.
So here's what grownups need to do
When the child is just newly born,
Insert an alarm chip into
The fat of the buttocks - don't scorn!
Said chip will sense illegal stuff
Said child is attempting to take,
Setting off sirens loud enough
To summon cops for the child's sake.

It's for the children - doncha know?
To keep their little minds in tow.