Holding Back Poem by Johannes Zettler

There is no happiness or joy,
there is no broken heart, no pain.
Am no longer a reckless boy,
not yet a disappointed man

I have struggled far too often
with myself more than with others.
Pain will fade, my moods will soften
reinventing myself for you.

Imagining how it could be
is good enough for me right now.
Am not depressed like I should be,
but pleasantly indifferent

Am as happy as I can be,
a change would risk the way it is.
There is no us, for you and me.
I want no more than what is now.

Cause you are happy already,
happy without me