Hopeless Dreaming Poem by Saucy Elmo

Last night I had a dream,
So clear, and spontaneously.
Given something of sentimental value,
Something I knew,
Was special to you.

Opened your hands and let it fall,
Into mine, and my heart stalled.
As I realized,
You were giving me a piece of you,
Something, you knew, that I could easily break.

I closed my fingers and placed it in my pocket.
Given your former religious locket -
I would handle with care.
I would always be there.
I would always be yours.

Searching my eyes for hesitation,
You kissed my cheek and began to walked away.
Stopping you with a touch of my hand,
I brought you in for a kiss,
That maybe, I thought you would understand.

I am not one of religion,
Myself is the only thing I believe in.
Although, I do believe in love.
And that, I believe is better,
Than whatever heaven has to offer.

Still your arms wrapped around me,
Telling me you were sorry.
Telling me you still loved me.
Telling me you wanted me back.
Telling me you regret losing what we had.

I said no matter, because I forgive you.
The reason why I waited so long,
Was that I hoped this day would come eventually.
You intertwined our fingers, and whispered three words.
The words I'd been dying to hear.

But then I woke up.
Last night's dream running through my head.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget.
It made me realize I wasn't over you.
The two week break was just masking the truth.

I went to school that day,
I couldn't focus.
I couldn't speak.
I couldn't find anything relevant,
In anything anyone had to say.

I saw my friend,
The one who told me to go and be happy with you.
It seems eons ago,
It seems like a dream.
One that happened to come true.

Around her neck, much to my displeasure,
Was the thing that kept me hanging by a thread.
That dream was turning into a nightmare in my head!
It was your old crucifix,
The one you replaced weeks ago at Christmas.

I didn't cry at first,
Until I was out of sight.
Until I was laying in bed that night.
Until I was sure no one would see.
Until I knew no one would care to see.

That night, I had a dream.
Vague, and instantly heartbreaking.
I saw you with her,
How wrong it all seemed!
Good thing, it was all a dream!

Your new crucifix is beautiful,
Platnium with a diamond in the middle.
Still to this day, I wish I had the old one.
The one that represented the brown eyes I once knew.
The one that made me think of you.

How naive I have been,
To think we'd have a perfect ending.
With a ring on my left hand,
Looking into the sunset,
With your crucifix dangling from your neck.

I wonder if sometimes you think of me?
I'm thinking of you when I fall asleep,
Hoping to see you in my dreams.
Hoping you'd ask one last time,
Once again, 'Will you be mine? '

It all seems too perfect.
It also seems somehow, meant to be.
Sometimes I sleep in my hoodie,
And make believe it's your arms around me.
But it's all still nothing but a dream.