Hostage Poem by Joyce Msonda

It's ludicrous how quickly you quickly forget
the nothing you once were
and how like sound,
you move so instantaneously in acknowledging
who you am now.
Sometimes, forgetting is all you have,
because to glance back,
to take a whif of that pot of regrets,
would not only dismantle all the bolts
that hold you together
but like a house scheduled for demolition,
you would shutter.
So instead, you believe the unbelievable,
you rationalize the irrational...you pretend.
Ever hammer that's taken to you,
you encourage because facing reality
is like advocating the shuttering your soul.
With surrender, you endure it
with pain, you crave it
and with disappointment, you love it.
Like the devil descending upon you,
you forget how to flinch and open your eyes
thus throwing the doors wide open
not only for an entrance but a painful return.
Like a whirlpool, you spin
incapable of holding on.
Obligation shoves you up against the wall
altercation blunt at the move of your every fiber.
Epinephrine accumulates your core
with your interest of conflict.
Pain populating your being
and with its bare hands,
the loss of patience holds you down like boas,
you mind wanders.
Confirmation settles deep within you,
so deep that even love couldn't save you.
Symptoms of a hostage!