How Much? Poem by Raiyan Asaral

How much do you love me?
Is a query,
That bugged me.
Maybe I'm just crazy
But you can't blame me.
All my life,
I lived in uncertainty.
There's too much failure
That I had to endure,
Another one
Would be me, gone.
The truth is that
I can't sit flat!
When I know,
Things aren't on my flow.
I'm afraid!
Yes I really am!
Why should I be?
Or rather…
I must be?
I'm scared to death.
To fall again,
Into my deathbed,
To be alone
In a corner
Like a drone.
Please! Milady! !
Clear my mind.
Clear it justly.
It's not that
I want this poem
To rhyme…
It's just
These words
Renders my heart
Sublime…
This is my way
Of saying things,
When I can't
Express it
Through word play.
Every word
Is deep thought,
Every letter
Has emotions brought,
Every emotion
Is not of naught!
But it's the product
Of my mind and heart in knot.
Not that I don't trust you,
But life had fooled me,
And I want to start
Brand new.
A life without false hopes.
Without much heartaches,
Of no much bullshit.
I may not get a reply
For now…
Time will come..
Time will tell..
Time will be the judge,
Of what it will be
In the end.