I Am What I Am Poem by Trever Barlow

Sometimes I feel like an idiot for doing some of the things I do.
Sitting here at night thinking about my life, or lack thereof.
Lost in thought about people I wish were closer friends.
I don't necessarily feel unhappy.
The longer I sit here and think about it, the more lonely I feel.
Why don't I just talk to my friends instead of writing it down?
Well its a lot easier to just write, and it does help.
I don't know if its just me, or if everyone goes through this.
I cant shake the fact that I am alone.
I see couples walk by at work holding hands and I feel jealous of their happiness.
I don't think its me, but why then do I not have anyone close to me in my life?
Maybe it is me, maybe I'm not aggressive enough.
Maybe I should be like all the other guys who disgust me so much with their disrespect.
I cant be like them, thats not me.
I cant even be mad at someone when they deserve it.
I don't know what I would do in an actual fight.
Why am I comparing myself to others?
I'm not them, I will never be them, and I like it that way.

I might be able to make friends easily, but nothing more.
I have never really shared myself with anyone, because nobody has been close enough.
Maybe this will help me collect my thoughts enough to eventually talk about my feelings.

I don't know if this is really me
I could be just going through some phase in my life..
I could just be freaking out over the fact that I don't have a girlfriend.
Maybe I'm just overreacting.