I Can'T Wait To Get To Hell Poem by Jade Leven

especially now, I need you more than ever
because I can’t handle this year without you
you’re something to remind me that it’s okay to cry
I know never to doubt you
but I still doubt myself
promise me that if I break down from nothing but a case of hysteria,
or if I’m halfway to my death because I can’t control my paranoia,
that you’ll slap me in the face so I remember who I am
I’ve never had the courage to put on a brave face
I’ve never had the patience to find a single trace
of my memory, which is dying as we speak
my slowly beating heart seems determined to make me weak
I can’t escape my own disappointment in myself
at this point I should just build a bridge to hell
so I don’t have to commit the crimes that will show me god’s unforgiving glare
I can already sense the fire and doom in the air
but it’s not the destination, it’s what gets you there
it sounds terrible, but I can’t wait to get to hell
I would rather face my destiny than just sit here in this cell
so I’m sorry if it frightens you, but there’s nothing else to do
I don't want to deal with anything else but you
I’m shutting all the doors so nothing different can get through
you can’t be surprised, because for me, it's nothing new
this is a secret I’m not ashamed to tell
I can’t wait to get to hell