I Cannot Say... Poem by Mehreen Tahir

I cannot say…
My heart whispers,
silently cajoling me,
urging to give voice to a thousand thoughts,
running around in my mind,
but my stomach is in knots,
a lump in my throat,
beginning to appear,
as my breathing becomes shallow,
and a million unsaid worries,
strangulate me,
locking the words in my mouth,
and throwing the keys away,
leaving me silent,
for no reason at all.

I cannot say…
A million things I dream of,
but speaking,
for me,
is not a coherent expression of what I think,
as I struggle,
to find the right words,
the suitable voice,
the appropriate moment,
the untangling of knots in my stomach,
the lump in my throat to dissolve,
and the worries to loosen their stranglehold,
but it’s not easy,
and for the time being,
I cannot say…
But one day maybe,
I’ll say it all…