I Could Not Stop (Even With Love) Poem by Ray X. Johnson

I Could Not Stop (Even With Love)



I could not stop for death*
even after,
my daddy died from pneumonia
when I was like 4 or 5 years old
vague memories deprive him
of a real definitive place -
so I no longer search for him
nor the withering parts of Momma
that have scattered leisurely
into a hell she made a life
& maybe it was set up that way
maybe all she wanted to do was cry -
& maybe those were her tears
that dripped so consistently
from those diabetic syringes
filled with poisonous self-inflicted
pain swelling arms oozing pus
& maybe she really believes the hype
that her business wasn't our business-
even after
the devil's audit results
& see...
i don't need a cripple's crutch
but what does she really think
as she watches her daughter dying
a carbon copy black suicide?
& says 'boy i did my best'
& is she talking to me I wonder
or is she talking to death...
still - i could not stop.


- Ray x. Johnson 1999

*line inspired by Emily Dickinson poem 'because I could not stop for death'

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