Riquetta Elliott

'I Feel So Damaged'

Stranger why did you leave us?
What? Is it the responsibility or the mystery beauty your
With?
I see no answer.
I see in my life years of smiles and happiness
But in the years you stranger gave my
Mother the symbol
Of abuse.
Why stranger why?
I see no answer.
Why were you not there for me?
What is it?
To much baby shitting, too much wah, wah or too much
Kissing for your first born child?
I feel so damaged it makes me want to
Vomit out of pain and
Anguishness.
You know what I'm just going to walk
Away because I am not suppose to talk
To strangers.
So please go away for
I do not want to speak
So please go because I am too ashamed to be
Your flesh and blood.

Poem Submitted: Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Poem Edited: Thursday, April 24, 2008

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Comments about 'I Feel So Damaged' by Riquetta Elliott

  • Lanard Boyd (7/23/2009 11:56:00 AM)

    Well writen and well said, I enjoy all your poems lil sis not just saying it mean it from my heart! ! ! !

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  • Frank James Ryan Jr...fjrFrank James Ryan Jr...fjr (2/19/2009 5:58:00 PM)

    This work typifies poetic poignance...You write with much verve, and employ well-placed imgery in depicting angst & pathos.Wish i had started writing at your age.
    Keep that pen pumping, young lady!

    F j R
    2009

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  • Ivor Hogg (2/12/2009 5:41:00 PM)

    Easy to blame without knowing the circumstances You express your feelings well in well written prose

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  • Keith Hendrickson (1/9/2009 10:53:00 PM)

    well writen. you are a great writer and you have unlimited potential.

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  • Dr Rajesh Kumar Vaid (11/22/2008 6:32:00 AM)

    Well worded in time catharsis!

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  • Reshma Ramesh (10/20/2008 9:13:00 PM)

    ohhh! ! god bless you and may you find every happiness.......well penned...and keep writting

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  • Antwan Graham (10/20/2008 8:07:00 AM)

    your poem was very real as if reality had done kick in. every father isnt a good 1 but when they ain't there you have a better life also you got goals to acheive

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  • Marvin Brato (5/26/2008 11:05:00 PM)

    Sometimes, it happens.... the one you expect to be your knight is the same person who damages your life! But he is not the only one you can rely on... look around you there maybe more who give meaning to your existence, cheer up and give then a chance. A 10.

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  • Bonnie Collins (5/22/2008 8:58:00 PM)

    Very emotional write filled with so much taste from what dysfunction can do, howeve remember you are you.. And you can make a difference in your world.... Very well penned.....Bonnie

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  • Sandra Fowler (5/11/2008 2:59:00 AM)

    You are not afraid to give yourself away in words. This is the mark of the true poet.
    Excellent work, Riquetta. Take care.

    Warmest regards,

    Sandra

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  • ~ Jon London ~ (5/2/2008 4:58:00 PM)

    This is a remarkable poem, your ability to infuse such vision in your write is of genius, i like your approach.


    all the very best

    Jon

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  • Varun Batra (4/27/2008 7:13:00 AM)

    My angel I'll repair your broken wings..
    unbreak your damaged heart...

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  • Frank James Ryan Jr...fjrFrank James Ryan Jr...fjr (4/27/2008 1:23:00 AM)

    Commendable quilling, Shia....Your monlogue presents with solid structural poise, and is delivered with vervacious conviction... Be watchful, in foregoing punctuation, especially when employing this style of stanzaec construction.You have some phrases here....that if not read very meticulously,
    can be mistaken as run-on, instead of two(2) seperate thoughts on the same line, which is both grammatically & poetically acceptable, but warrants a comma, or semi colon to identify & justify it. I am not a big proponent of punctuation, myself, as it tends to cause too much traffic for the reader....That said, however, sometimes it cannot be avoided, without risking your work being misread.This is fine work, young lady...there is much potential within you...
    Not only from your writing skills...but because of your ability to handle criticism, with poise, which you will see is paramount as your work is both admired, and at times criticized.And it is the Writer or Poet/Poetesss that can smile at both, and learn from the criticism, (as arrogant as it may appear at the time) ....when the criticism itself holds sound logic, and you are not too proud to learn from it.[WRITING IS PERSONAL...BUT YOU CANNOT TAKE ANY EVALUATION OF IT PERSONALLY]So, as far as i can assert....i think you're going to do just fine, young lady.Good Luck!

    ~ FjR ~
    ..2008..

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  • Evaughn GrayEvaughn Gray (4/25/2008 11:39:00 PM)

    wow, that was very heartfelt. beautiful..i loved it.10! keep writing.~Hazel Green Eyes

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  • Thad Wilk (4/25/2008 10:48:00 PM)

    Solid penning Riquetta! Very poignant write but capturing and honest poem
    of a happening not to uncommon today, when parents split up. life will go on
    and better days will follow. *10*
    Best wishes, friend Thad

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  • Jerry Hughes (4/25/2008 5:39:00 PM)

    Riquie, you'll feel better for having written this out of your system. Now let it go. Hugs, Jez

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  • Lawrence S. Pertillar (4/24/2008 4:11:00 PM)

    Whoooooooaaa! Whole up here! Let me 'begin' my comments
    by saying this: that title 'alone' is awesome! Powerful and immediately
    attracts attention. That's brilliance. Okay...here we go! Ms Riguetta what
    you have submitted to PoemHunter.com is a 'classic', baby. Undisputable.
    I will be sending you a 'pvt' message! 'I Feel So Damaged' is a 'booty kicker!
    This is for the archives, Ms Elliott. Congradulations! It is well deserved!
    I had expected to read this from an entirely different perspective.
    NICE!

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  • James B. Earley (4/24/2008 10:01:00 AM)

    A passionately expressed commentary on wanton irresponsibility! Thanks.

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  • Andrew BlakemoreAndrew Blakemore (4/24/2008 6:38:00 AM)

    A great write Riquetta. You have expressed your feelings of anger in powerful and emotive way. Best wishes, Andrew x

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  • Alison Cassidy (4/24/2008 6:01:00 AM)

    You share your contempt for the man who fathered you with great skill in this finely etched poem. The use of the word 'stranger' is excellent - and the reference to abuse and 'wah wah' and 'the mystery beauty' give the reader hints, but not too much detail of your painful story. The poem flows exceptionally well and the reader is left with a feeling of great sadness and disappointment. Your best poem to date. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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