I Know Poem by Dr Dj

Feelings
I hope to completely eliminate them
They are the one thing
That will kill me
Not the tumors in my head
But these feelings
Of her
I Adore
She doesn't deserve it
She doesn't want it
But my Heart
Wants what it wants
Who am I to argue?
And
I don't know where she is
Near?
Far?
Dead?
Alive?
I have no Idea
Is she laughing?
Is she crying?
Happy?
Sad?
Is she seeking warmth
For a temporary respite?
Or looking for a
Tall building
To end her own suffering?
This
Is Killing me
I have to find a way
To Hate her
So I can forget her
To just be able to somehow keep living
To keep breathing
Instead I keep drinking
For A bit of welcome
Numb
A temporary remedy
But
The solution
It is impossible
The Gods themselves
Couldn't do
What I must do
I cannot
And will not
Give up on her
Abandon her
She is My Everything
My Goddess!
And
Maybe
Just maybe
She might
She just might
Decide to feel something again