I'm Getting Old Poem by Phil Soar

I stub my toe and scream aloud
I fart when I am in a crowd
And I watch as everybody thinks about it
I can ride an omnibus
And often swear and make a fuss
But I'm afraid that I cannot get home without it

My fingers bend arthritically
I ride on public transport free
I take so many tablets that I rattle
I like to pick my nose
And I am sometimes comatose
As growing old becomes a losing battle

I shout at passing traffic
As it infects the geographic
Of the place I live, and thunders by at speed
And I hate all of the rules
That have followed me since schools
First expected me to listen and take heed

There's no passion any more
I can't remember what it's for
And the thought of masturbation leaves me cold
I can shake it when I pee
And often miss the lavatory
And it's all because I'm getting very old