I'M Going To Tell My Daddy On You Poem by Randy Johnson

(This is a fictional poem)

When people pick on me, I say 'I'm going to tell my daddy on you.'
All of my friends say that I shouldn't do that because I'm forty-two.
When people bother me, I always tell my dad.
He spanks me because it makes him mad.
Last week my neighbor's daughter stole my tricycle and I was riled.
I started sucking my thumb and Daddy said I was acting like a child.
People are wrong when they say I act like a child, a child wouldn't drive a Viper.
But on the other hand, I'm the only forty-two year old man who wears a diaper.
Daddy told me to grow up and act like a man.
I threw a tantrum because I don't think I can.