I'M Home Poem by Jas Garcia

undress.
shed my clothes,
so i won't shed more tears.
as my clothes come off,
my guilt does too.
when the last garment hits the floor,
i am ready to forget.
today joins yesterday in a vague daze of memories.
already, my thoughts are swimming about
off in no particular direction.
already, the day's events seem like a distant dream,
or maybe nightmare, i can't recall.
already, everything is becoming a faint wisp
of some noxious perfume.
comforting and choking at once.
try oh so carefully to step out of the way,
don't want to trip over things that aren't really there.
just going through the motions,
but i can't get too involved.
don't want to get hung up over imaginary friends.
make my way to my bed.
it is my only haven now.
sleep.
can't distinguish which dreams are which,
or if i have woken up yet.
nor does it seem to matter.
wandering.
only drifting from one memory to the next,
days blend into one another
a gray, bland mess
that leaves a void in me
tired of dreaming
tired of living
tired of wandering,
not belonging,
not coming home.
tired.