Relapse. Poem by Jas Garcia

it's been hiding around the corner
waiting to get me by myself

i act like i'm fighting
but behind the farce
my body screams
and yearns

said i was done
said i had won
but i hated myself everyday
i still hate who i am

she looked at me so curiously
and asked me how it felt
but i couldn't answer honestly

she lost all respect for me
he grew disappointed day by day
she could not trust me
and he pushed me away

lost the ones who mattered
along with those that don't
and i found the reason why everyone has left me
at one point or another

of course the fault was on me.
there is no such thing as coincidence
instead of wanting them back
i condemn

i say its a part of who i am
and if they can't accept that
they should go away

they're just trying to help
clean up
but i'm already on my way
at this point the stakes are too high
i'm not begging anyone to stay

he just wants to know why
and she wants to fix me
its not gonna happen, baby
you can't fix what likes to stay broken

i know all about it.
and there's nothing you can do.
i'm not complaingor ignorant
none of this is new.

back to my old ways.
finally going home.
doing only what i know how to do best.