I'M Not Well At All Poem by Eman Awad

I never thought it through,
and i still have no reason for that till now.
Maybe it was my love for you,
a reason that i lost my way to, some how.
I'm not happy now that i know,
how it feels like to be happy at last.
So, i didn't think, i let it grow,
i was fallen so hard but yet so fast.
I'm not well at all now that i,
get to call you, just because i have to.
Not well at all that i cry,
in advance for the day when it's through.
And the friends i thought i won't miss,
because i have no room left in my heart.
Now i'm back to doubt and lonliness,
and i'm sad that it's tearing me apart.
Why haven't i take my time to think,
and what if it led to the exact same ending?
Will smile, will laugh, will joke, will wink,
but i'm screamin my lounges out, i'm pretending.
Should have kept my distance like i used to,
but now i'm so in it that i'll lose my self by gettin out.
Heart breaks do exist and they're so true,
so real, that its thought kills what my life is about.
I'm so scared have to go through it alone,
and i see no light, nothing to guide me not even a sign.
I know someday i'll wake up to find it gone,
just a feeling but if true, i'll miss what was never mine.