I'M Yours, You Got What You Wanted. Poem by Emily Reid

I’ve given you what you wanted all along. Through all the pain and tears I still gave in. I thought I was done, I wanted to believe I was. I wanted to believe that I was ready to give you my all. It turns out even though we stopped you still had me. Body, heart, and soul. I wish I could take it all back but now you hold my virginity in your arms. It was very romantic and sweet. When I lay my head on your chest I could feel your heart beat and mine was just as fast. The soft touch of your warm hands made me feel alright. I’m sorry I stopped and I’m sorry that I gave in. I didn’t think I would ever give this to you. When everyone found out today my stomach sank and I threw up in the bathroom. I didn’t think it would be like last time. Now there’s a whole in my heart and I feel like killing myself. Not that I haven’t felt that way before but now I really feel like dying. If my real love finds out he’d never understand. He’d never want me back he’d never talk to me again. I’m so scared and I wish that my friends understood that it was just a dumb mistake. But you and I and everyone knows that I can’t take it back. How could you be so controlling over me? Now you have all the power you want over me. I’m never doing this again until I’m ready and I’m never being this stupid with you again…. I wish I could take it all back, for the whole in my heart will never heal.