i hear the floor creek closer and closer towards my bedroom door i try to stay quiet hiding under the covers through i now he will find me. i hope he does'nt here my heartbeat or hear me praying god for him protect me tonight. but as i do i start cry because i know tonight's one of those nights when god just does'nt hear me i let one sob and the door swings open hallway light shines in but darkness radaites off him so strong he has a smile on his face nothing will stop him i can't even defend myself he gets on top of me holding me down as i try to run away he me back covering my mouth i am scared to breathe a few weeks pass by i hear him moaning my name while stumbling around the house closer he walking towards me now he is on my bed and he touches me i being cry as wonder is god tonight.
this time i fight back i yell i ry somebody please help me but he has way shut me up i do everything i can to make him lose grip he's hurting me so bad but will not let me go no! ! ! ! he will not let me go not until he is finshed he leaves me lying there to think of what i have ' i am sorry is not enough he doesn't even realize what it has cost another few weeks pass by the shame keeps getting worse to afraid to tell though it's so hard to hide this pain day after day i must have been bad that night i hear him coming closer as i'm lying on floor lord i would do anything if you would keep him from walking through the door but he does i finally realize i am all alone no to protect who can save me lie back down to take it but he throws me on ed and me revile my worst frears when i just want to be dead. i dont want kill myself i just want to die god, why you abanded me can you see that tears i cry i can still feel you touching me grabbing me forcing my body closer to the feelings of cold fingers all over me constly try to wash away from my scars skin since that night i live my in fear your the rason i love you too easily why i cannot love all becuase i trusted you can no longer trust you at all because you the pain i hould inside yu will never know they will understand that my scars on my ar reason even begin show......
this poem is about me when i was 3 years old i was raped my dad raped me and know that i am only 15 in half years old i flash backs of all this happening i wrote what i seen i had no way get my emotions out so i found way i cut my wirst know i just have scars of lifetime all over my wirst from razorblades end of pecils erasers, erasers lighters, sigarte burns, everything i can get my hands on even knifes my life pretty much dumb i got so bad at cutting that i started thinking of sucide all that stuff i got put in mental hospital for 1 week and 2 days because of this but yeah thats the story about my life for you
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.I would like to translate this poem