I Wonder Poem by Susan Basile

I always ask myself
what it would feel like
to actually be happy.
To feel that sensation
of joy,
filling your heart up.

I wonder what it feels like
to have an actual smile
on your face,
instead of smiling
just to avoid people
asking you what’s wrong?

I wonder what it feels like
to have family that is there for you,
to help you,
talk to you.
even tell you that they love you.

I want to know what it feels like
to go home and have a sane conversation
with my mother,
instead of fighting every night.
to talk instead of scream.
I just wonder what it would be like.

I wanna know
What it feels like to actually
Be happy inside
And not feel empty and useless.
All my life I have been wondering.

I want these wondering thoughts
to become my reality.
It seems like it will never be possible,
But it will be my reality someday.

Somehow,
Someday,
These thoughts will be my reality.