I Wonder In Old Age/Where I Still Have Something To Give Poem by Shalom Freedman

I wonder in Old Age
where I still have something to give
No one wants or reads my writings
And the little sometimes read somewhere
Does not need me for it-
My caregiving help is now very limited
I am doing little and suspect I will do less-
I help my children and grandchildren a bit
But not that much
My presence and existence mean something to them
But what I have to give is not much-
Perhaps my wife needs me
Against the loneliness
And for all kinds of small help
But she has the means and support
To get by without me-
I am not really that necessary to anyone anymore
If I ever was-
I may need myself
But is that really important?
Soon I will not need me
It is possible to say that ‘God needs me' as
God needs everyone
But where is the proof for that?
I might in my own mind
Want to help Israel and the Jewish people
But what help really at this point
Can I possibly give?
The truth is as it seems now
I do not have that much to give anyone
And so it might be kind of right
That I am in all kinds of ways
Running out of power and competence
And praying I will be fortunate
And die without harming anyone
That much.