Egi D. Perdana
(i-Xiii) Chapter Ix It's Hard For Me - Poem by Egi D. Perdana
I throw my heart into a trash bin
but every women look it up and open their hands to take it
then I dip my feeling into a tube that water is not pure and smells
and again some feelings follow it quietly
I just want you, you, you, not them, and it's hard for me.
I'll melt you down, I'll make you hurt
I wanna wake the feeling within
I'm not fooling around, I'll pay for the world, to slow you down
I'll destroy every pieces of frames that beautifies you
And I want to hear, in every tears, you say 'it's hard for me'
Isn't that you think I am a man that takes advantage out from the truth?
like potassium cyanide that squeezes your heart and the pit of your stomach
and an explossion of an atom making me sure of it
sorry, your excuses is not healing
because those excuses are a silence for me, and for that, it's hard for me.
They don't talk about the necessities of life for us
they don't care if we drink poison from our sweat ever
they always think that we are just coarse grass to burn
they are like swords to cut off our heads
and everything about them, i don't care anymore, because it remains the same, it's hard for me.
I want to defeat the naivetes of you, to boil your pessimism
because you are like a flickering light bulbs, weakened and explodes
what can I do about it? desperation seems to fill your pivot
you aren't like you used to be
because time after time, for us, it's hard for me.
(Chapter IX End)
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