If It Means That... Poem by Ben Henry Baang

2: 26, an hour ago you would have been awake
But here I am. Poring over nothing
Remnants of you I picture
But why didn't I feel that before?

Our fingers, smooth and rough patterns
But I felt authority that time. You lead the way.
In our heydays there was nothingness
When you broke down and cried. I stepped back.
Now, i've regretted all that.

Now that you're mountains and lakes away.
You've gone on to resocialize.
We had the best memories, but in only one part.
A part of your life, a year, less than 52 weeks
A part of me still speaks


'I admire you very much but it's too late to realize
That I've done this only now
That I loved you only now.'


If it means that I love you when you're not here
Then I'll stay here.