If Only You Knew Poem by H E Alexander

Why do you shout?
Why talk to me as if I were but a young child?
If only you knew what my young life was about
you'd see a person, not just a man: old, erstwhile.

Look into my eyes,
not at these frail aged limbs and ill-fitting skin.
Yes, I may wear a wretched worn out disguise,
but I have a past, a history held deep within.

Touch my withered hand,
look at me, look into this vacant blue stare.
Travel with me now to a different time, a distant land,
your mind with mine. Let me take you there:

'Advance' I heard the Sergeant cry,
amid the dawn of a burning sky,
so once again I gained my feet
to expose my target to the angry street.
Amongst my new, short-leased friends
I doubled in heavy boots to lend
support with my rapid rifle fire
adding bodies to the funeral pyre.
Triggering blindly at unseen foe,
as forward, forward into hell we go.
Then reach the safety of battered stone,
so far, so far from our beloved home.

Onward now we will take this town,
onward now for borders and crown.
I fire my rounds and watch them fall,
fellow humans every one and all,
companions too, fall to ground,
so violent deaths, so bloody wounds.
Hating together, rivals in breath;
dying together, brothers in death!
Despite our losses we forge ahead,
aiding our injured, disregarding their dead.
Intent on pushing our enemy back
our bombs explode, our rifles crack.

Are you still here?
Have you witnessed the horror of this needless bloody gore?
Are you still with me, suffering through my silent fear?
Come hither again, I will show you more:

There, in front, the vital bridge lay,
which we must take by fall of day
if we were to have but half a chance
to continue our strategic advance.
We'd come barely just a quarter mile
when ordered to stop and rest a while
inside a war torn building, built to dwell,
now battered bricks and broken shell.
Whilst the Sergeant regarded the plan
I say a prayer for every lost man.
And thank the Lord for my life
that I should live to see my wife.

As we sat and waited with butts down
an eerie silence befell the town.
I looked around at surviving men,
just six in all from the starting ten:
Jimmy Mac, a Scotsman dour;
and Dave Hockley from Halton Moor;
Mickey O, of Irish blood;
Taffy once in the valleys stood;
then of course there was Sergeant Wells,
born he told us, 'wivvin' the sa'nd o' bells',
All of them, though I'm now old and grey,
I've never forgotten to this very day.

Stop; don't pull away!
Stay with me here for just a little longer now.
You can finish your duties on another dull day,
but never again will you see what I have to show:

Sergeant Wells put down his map,
said 'sorry lads, ' and raised his cap,
'I need a volunteer this time
to get behind their sniper's line
to allow the rest of the lads to make
an attempt upon the bridge to take."
Without a thought of my kith or kin,
I was first to throw my fourpence worth in,
' I'll go Sarg' I said in haste
and stood up straight, shoulders braced.
Relieved companions acclaimed me brave,
but I wondered, had I just readied my grave?

Out from the shelter of broken stone
I ran so fast, but for my knife, alone.
Zigzagging a path to my intended prey,
my heart pounding hard amidst the fray.
I felt the agony and screamed out a cry,
as a raging bullet ripped flesh of thigh.
Despite the blood flowing from my wound,
somewhere, somehow, more strength I found.
I climbed high up to the sniper's nest
and thrust my blade deep into his chest.
Then from high upon this murderous ridge
I watched my comrades take the bridge.

Now I will set you free,
now that you have lived through this tale I've told,
will you look at an individual when you look at me?
Will you see a person, not just somebody, grey and old?

But stay, just one moment more
before you leave this brutal history of mine,
you will see the true senselessness of this wasteful war.
So come back with me there, one last time:

When all was done, when we had won,
I saw the horror of their vengeful bomb.
My friends, my allies, their lives yet young,
I watched them die, every single one.
When all was done. When we had won.