I Shouldn't Be Here Poem by H E Alexander

A sea of red and gold leaves harboured her feet
as she slowly waded through the autumnal tide,
crisply floating away, the leaves were washed aside
and at their leisure, fell, to reform their decaying sheet.
Her gentle hand ran across the coarse barked trees
that deposited their sap between her soft fingertip lines;
the early morning sun flickered in straight-lined designs
and warmed her face from the cool hair-tangling breeze.

Her journey today seemed to take longer than before;
perhaps her trepidation was slowing her down?
Her simple splendour camouflaged in a frown,
her breath strained in short gasps; her heart beat unsure.
Leaving the protection of her wooded sanctuary behind;
near turning back before she reached the familiar cottage,
which stood alone, distressed by desertion and ravage,
but the need in her heart conquered the fear of her mind.

The door surrendered easily to her slender young frame,
she closed it behind her and felt she'd come home,
as memories of happiness dwelt deep within her womb;
save for the dust-sheathed surfaces, everything was the same.
She shouldn't be here; she knew it was wrong,
but the rules of love have no bearing on her world.
Dancing around the room, she turned, twisted and twirled,
playing over and again their most favoured song.

She undressed and slipped naked inside his bed
and presently into a deep enchanted sleep fell.
Amid his stale sheets, impregnated by his bodily smell,
she later woke in the damp of dreamed tears she had shed.
In a drawer by his bedside she found a note in his hand,
it read: "My darling, I love you more than my own life,
but I cannot live anymore with you, a mere silhouette wife.
Goodbye my sweet love, I hope you will understand."

She wandered through his home for the last precious time,
dressed in his gown she felt his arms holding her.
"I shouldn't be here, " she cried out in utter despair,
"you have muddled my reason and rewritten my rhyme."
Disrobed, she immersed in a bath of warm water to bathe;
among an array of lit candles, she lay full of remorse;
bound in love to this irrevocable course,
she sank under the water and found peacefulness beneath.