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Rating: 3.5
endless walking
where my mind is calm
and hungry.

nothing satisfies
my appetite or curiosity.

buildings shade
a relentless sun.
i can't be the only one
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K Holoholo 05 November 2007
It's good but I think it needs just a little work with the words, as I do get what you are saying but a little more polish please.
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Kath Moore 05 November 2007
4. This could work if it was approached through details and imagery. All I know about this city is that it has buildings and sun. That isn't enough. Be specific. Describe. Convey the experience.
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Donna Robertson 03 August 2007
Walking the city and walking through life - its the same.
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6/23/2021 7:48:52 PM #