Im A Monster Poem by Jenny Anderson

How is it that me...one girl can cause so much damage to you.
Your only one guy. I know.
But why do i do things that I dont even know I do.
And yet your still here.
Plus your silent, you have considered going with days on end not talking to me.
One thing I cant imagine is not having you there.
But why should I think even for one moment that someone would actually be there for me like that.
Its just another false hope I give myself.
Another intention I didnt decide on.
Why isnt my subconsious good?
Sending horrible brain waves through me.
Forcing me to see the hurt I have caused.
It seems to haunt me with everything.
Ive hurt so many. What do I do when im left alone?
Take the lighter to my wrist another time?
Overdose with the pills?
Take a knife and do more than accidently getting my hand?
I tell you now these arent suicidal thoughts just thinking out loud.
You know weighing out all the possibilities.
I dont think anyone would care if I was gone.
Maybe later on they would come to relize im gone and miss me a little.
But hey there goes me giving myself false hope again.
What the heck? Ugh, im done.
Just remember everyone that ive hurt unintentionally or have hurt period, I love you.
I just have problems showing that.
Dont take it to heart cause I mean nothing by it.