In The City Poem by Jeremy Patnou

In The City

Rating: 4.0


Walking along these city streets
Seeing people busy
Pacing
Each with their own itinerary
Cracked city sidewalk
Aged city structure
Smoggy city air
Going here, getting there
Never seems to be a minute to spare
As cars stream along
Arteries of streets, the blood flow of the city
The machine is breaking down
Gradually
The cracks and leaks slowly showing
Urban decay
Coupled upon
Moral collapse
The path, which I tread
Is laden with traps
Waiting to destroy me
The city is dirty
A crowded cacophony
A droning noise
Always there and never gone away
The city is our cage
We the animals
Are under its oppression.

x Angst x

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Matthew C. L. Pratt 21 May 2009

Very well Structured, keept it up.

7 2 Reply
Greenwolfe 1962 24 February 2009

Poems need a strong ending. The last three lines make this poem. Without those lines it is nothing but a recitation of city agony. I wasn't sure where the writer was going. I was relieved to read those lines. GW62

7 2 Reply
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Jeremy Patnou

Jeremy Patnou

Huntington Beach California
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