I grew up in a family
that has never understood
why I am broken damaged unfixable
and no longer any good
I met this girl named Jacci
when I was a little girl
after fighting over a boy
we became inseperable
My mother would let me stay with her
thinking everything was alright
not knowing what was going on
in the darkness of the night
As we would lay there sleeping
her step dad would come in
touch, molest and rape us
commiting mortal sin
There was nothing we could do
and nowhere we could run
for if we told a single soul
he'd kill us one by one
My mom said she suspected
that something wasn't right
because when I would sleep at home
I would scream and cry all night
Frightend of the darkness
and scared that he would come
and sneak into my bedroom
making me succumb
I would make my mom sleep with me
to protect me from this man
but she never figured out
how and why this behavior began
Jacci and I were constantly abused
by this sick and demented f**k
we would sleep with knives under the mattress
hoping to kill him when he struck
Her mother never did anything
to protect us from the abuse
she claims she didn't know about it
but that's just an excuse
The sick things he would do to us
by himself and with his friend
would go on an on for a couple years
and I would beg for it to end
Finally when it was over
I did everything I could
to wipe the memories from my brain
and eventually I would
I was very very angry
throughout my f****d up life
lots of drugs, sex and parties
and cutting myself with a knife
The cutting always helped me
to bleed out my emotions
it helped me deal and cope
so I wasn't just going through the motions
The drugs helped to numb me
from the awful memories
everyday I wished I'd die
begging the goddess to take me please
After years and years of therapy
and tons of different pills
I'm finally properly medicated
which has decreased my will to kill
But if I ever see this perverted
sick and twisted man
the hate and rage I have for him
will set into motion my evil plan
I will take him to a place
where no one will hear him cry
then torture, beat and mame him
until he begs me to let him die
But death would be to good for him
cause no one else would see
that he's a child raping sicko
that ruined the lives of Jacci and me
I never will forgive him
for what he did to us
The constant tormeting memories
we try to purge with no success
But the bond that Jacci and I share
is beyond anything I've ever known
I just wish we lived closer together
now that we're fully grown
I miss her every single day
and hate that we're apart
she is my best-friend and my soulmate
who I love with all my heart
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
This was one of the most disturbing things I have ever read, I am sorry that you had to go through this Elizabeth, nothing I can say or what anyone can say will ever make what happened better. If you look on this site you will find you are not alone I have read three similar stories to what you have gone through. As a man I am ashamed of what the Y chromosom can do when not properly neutered, may you and your friend Jacci grow strong together and find the peace in the future where the past is a dark path. I know nothing can ease pain, but I am trully sorry.