Late in life I struggle against my insignificance
When I should enjoy the freedom from performance
before an audience.
Applause is happiness but if they withhold applause,
embarrassment.
When Da Liu put me to work crunching hexagrams and
spreadsheet numerology
Instead of ghost writing his books about T'ai Chi for
longevity
I was humiliated but freed. No need to interpret
The Chinese master's wisdom or endure his disapproval.
All this happened in an apartment on 110th St. when I
lived on 111th.
I wonder if Da Liu lived to 100 like he predicted. Pop
Pop
Didn't make it. So be it. Ken got me that job, old friend
Ken
Who goes back all the way past high school to
Thompson Junior High.
Tomorrow we're eating pizza together in Troy.
We'll remember Da Liu and also the painter and sculptor
who had a room
In our apartment on 111th and a dog so intelligent it
could walk off the leash
On the crowded streets of New York without an
altercation, and Zach Sklar
Of course, journalist, communist and jazz afficionado
Who listened to Jo Jones and Paul Quinichette, Count
Basie's men,
Often as possible at the West End.
Back then I was playing the streets for quarters, not
much more
Than that sculptor's dog, the sculptor's name I wanna
say
Was Mike Johnson and he was a man of few words and
many women.
We had a major cockroach problem in that apartment
on 111th St.
And I also remember the ceiling leaked in Ken's room
and he
Did battle against the landlord, helped form a tenant's
association.
We were young and blind as newborn mice, puppies or
roaches
We went to our daily disciplines like children of paradise
or Da Liu who was already old.
When we meet for pizza and talk it will be hard to hear
now that I'm deaf
In one ear. Ken, whose name means knowledge, has
trouble seeing faces.
To want to be famous is a silly goal for a man almost old
as Da Liu.
Not the right motivation. Much better to look slowly,
labor
For the success and happiness of others.
I'm still avoiding the deeper question. Which is what?
Cultivate
An acceptance of nature (including the biomass in the
crosswalks)
And know the names of all the grasses. Much to learn
about molecules,
Still trying to make sense on the trumpet. What's Ken
doing lately?
He's retired from teaching. Is he spending his time
reading?
So today I ordered Da Liu's books, maybe the ones I
worked on,
Because they offer assistance to others for further living.
Service to others, that's the key, or conversely,
I pleasure in and treasure my insignificance, the autumn I
Realized my insignificance, it ought to be a great comfort
To be so insignificant, being knowledgeable is the best
defense against
Your insignificance, it does not put me in mind of the
species' insignificance,
Exiled or sidelined to an insignificant role, a valued
Member of our community or so insignificant no one
notices
Or cares, insignificant and mighty happenings
Seem the same from my vantage aging gratefully,
inexorably,
A way to learn your insignificance, freedom to have
never been.
A lot of reading and references bought in and this seems to be freedom too. Good one.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
No one is so insignificant that the person is without influence. Thanks for the insightful piece Robert and do remain enriched.