Internal Conflict Poem by Katherine Rhodes

I feel helpless
what can I do for him
he won't let me in,
but he never really could

Maybe I'm being selfish
for wishing that we could be friends
maybe I'm being naive
for thinking that you want to
but how many times have you told me
that you want to spend time with me
talk with me
sit in silence with me

but he says it to everyone
I know that better than he does
and he knows better than me
that I will always be there for him
touch him, hold him, kiss him if he wants,
just care for him
even if he thinks no one does

But by the time you get this
We will probably have seen each other
Exchanged looks of helplessness
Told stories
Shared wishes
And my hope is restored

But there is always a thought
in the back of my mind
That he’s with me because I’m
his last resort
his second or even third choice
why now after they are
all gone is our friendship
visible
tangible

but it doesn’t matter to me anymore
that’s just how it goes