Joe Rosochacki

Is Ronald Mcdonald Having A Mid-Life Crisis? - Poem by Joe Rosochacki

Bin Laden was killed, the terminator had a child out of wedlock,
and the IMF president is in Riker's what more could top this?
Is Ronald McDonald Having a Mid-Life Crisis?
Apparently kids now days are not amused by him anymore,
They want video games, I-Pads, cell phones, and to pick things up from their favorite store,
Happy Meals don't seem to be happy, don't have apps like kids now have on their cell phones.
Ronald McDonald is out of phase like Newt Gingrich,
-his time is numbered, his support isn't there, for being the future president of the United States
Your hamburgers, your fries, making kids obese.
That is what the present administration hates.

'His floppy shoes, painted-on smile and flaming-red hair may be a harder sell to today's kids who are trading in their dolls and trucks for manicures and mobile game apps at ever younger ages. He also seems out of step with McDonald's Corp.'s new efforts to appeal to adults. The 48-year-old spokesclown has fallen flat in new ads this year, according to Ace Metrix, a group that tracks TV advertising.

What kind of ad income would a has been clown bring?

And the government is getting strict on marketing unhealthy food to children. That has both marginalized Ronald as more of a mascot than a product pitchman and landed him in the middle of the bigger debate about food makers' responsibilities in stemming the rise in childhood obesity.

Ronald they've forgotten about your houses that you have for injured children,
You don't ask how, what, who, or when.
-what more can he give?

McDonald's says it is proud of the food it offers
- and that Ronald teaches children to be active.

You could be phased out like Joe Camel and Cap'n Crunch or Toucan Sam
Elsie doesn't fear being dropped because Borden dump her
Critics say it's time to hang up the yellow jumper.
After all their products are laced with tars and nicotine, fat, sodium and sugars,
-they are not Wheaties.

A group called Corporate Accountability International plans to ask Ronald to retire at the company's annual meeting on Thursday. They say Ronald encourages kids to eat junk food, contributing to a rise in childhood obesity and related diseases such as diabetes.

The group, which campaigned against the Joe Camel cigarette mascot in the '90s and complained about Ronald as a role model at McDonald's annual meeting last year, has stepped up its campaign. The group has taken out full-page ads Wednesday in the Chicago Sun-Times, New York Metro and four other papers to call for his head. The ads, signed by more than 550 health groups and professionals, carry the headline, 'Doctors' Orders: Stop Marketing Junk Food To Kids.

Before the government mandate forbids,
Before the government forbids the high fructose syrup from maize
Watch out for those who drink Mountain Dews, Coca-Colas and Pepsis.

What follows is an open letter to McDonald's CEO Jim Skinner, that says in part, 'We ask that you heed our concern and retire your marketing promotions for food high in salt, fat, sugar, and calories to children, whatever form they take – from Ronald McDonald to toy giveaways.'

It fell upon deaf ears, they've seem to forgot.

McDonald's defended Ronald against the group's attack at last year's annual meeting and is adamant that it has never considered retiring or even downplaying their smiling mascot.

'It's totally unfounded, ' said Marlena Peleo-Lazar, the company's chief creative officer, who describes Ronald as 'a force for good.'

McDonald's is suffering because the healthy consumer tries to sever relations.

Ronald, the world's most famous clown, had humble beginnings with a paper-cup nose and scraggly blonde wig. First played by Willard Scott in 1963, he dispensed burgers and fries to delighted children and flew around on a magic hamburger. 'Goofy and clumsy' is the way McDonald's describes the early incarnations.

A decade later McDonald's created standards on makeup and mannerisms for Ronald, so the actors who portrayed him could present a united front. Around that time, they also created McDonaldLand, home to Grimace, Mayor McCheese and an array of other characters.

Do you know, how to make Ronald be healthier, what are the answers?
Who will they come after next, I'll bet that dude who has a plastic face and wears a crown.

(McDonald's, for the record, views Ronald as a real person. 'There's only one Ronald, ' Peleo-Lazar said in response to several questions about how many actors portray the smiling clown.)

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Poem Edited: Thursday, May 19, 2011

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