It's Still Not Enough Poem by Aria Lei

I’m sitting here on my bed
with my headphones on my head,
listening to Rose In December by
Halestorm. A love song about waiting,
and about not giving in to what your
friends say.

You’re probably at your dad’s farm
with the horses you can ride whenever
you want. The cows that get first place
at the fair. All the freedom in the world.
Not thinking of me at all, while I sit here,
and think only of you.

Every second of every day is filled to the
Brim with you. Your smile that even God (or
Whoever’s up there) would be proud of. Your
Laugh that brings sunshine to even my darkest
Days. Your voice that speaks to someone who’s
Not me.

I remember when that smile would be turned on
Me. I see it every day being turned to someone
Else. I remember when that laugh would blend with mine.
Now I hear it among several others, besides mine.
I remember your voice as you’d speak to me, saying
Things like, ‘no need to be afraid, I’ll catch you if you
Fall, ’ before you left me for the others.

I would kill to have that smile back. To have it shining and
Brightening up my day. I would love to have your laugh back
To blend with me. If only for one more time. And if I could
Hear that voice once more speaking to me, more than I get
Now, I may just be satisfied.

I am granted your voice, your laugh, your smile every once in
A while.

But it’s still not enough.