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It Was Bound To Happen Eventually

I remember when there was never a quiet moment in my head. I remember how much I hated that I could never turn it off. Funny to think that I miss it, even if the only reason I miss it was because that, for me, was normalcy.
I tried to think about a certain word the other day. I thought about it for too long. It hurt my brain. I remembered when I used to get so confused by the joke: don't think too hard, you'll hurt yourself (or some like variation) .
I remember a time where my mind was 100% and my memory immaculate. That was during the same period where I wouldn't lose things and I was constantly doing something. It's weird to think of myself as capable of relaxing. It's even weirder to think I no longer worry about...well, anything. I used to have ambition and drive, even if I was going on what everyone considered the wrong path. I couldn't lay around in bed and realize that its okay because there isn't anything more important to do anyway.
But that was all during a time you were alive. When you died, so did I. Now I'm simply a shell going through the motions I've been programmed to make. All of these things hit me the other day when I realized, everything I thought made me special is gone, and now... I'm just like everybody else.
Don Mcwilliams 30 March 2008
Sad and cathartic. First, we let ourselves be...empty, and then we become what we will be after. Don
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5/14/2021 12:24:10 AM #