Just Something Inside Poem by Jade Leven

sometimes I feel your hand on my shoulder
but I'll never feel your hand on my face
it was an ordinary room on an ordinary night
but there was a dreamlike quality to the place
you remembered something that I had forgotten
that had never happened before
and the whole experience was wonderful
but somehow it wasn't enough, and I need more

maybe I'm looking for someone to blame for my tears
maybe it's not you after all who caused me to cry
it might just be that I want to be loved
it might just be something inside

you don't want me to want you to want me
but you'd never say that straight to my face
you're always talking about all that you wish I could be
I guess there's too many flaws for you too erase
I knew you hesitated to agree when I said
that we're just like them, we're close like them
you misunderstood just slightly, and I hope you can forgive me
because I had thought that we were just like them, close like them

maybe I'm looking for someone to blame for my carelessness
maybe I'm just another girl to you, nothing special to provide
it might just be that you're confused
it might just be something inside

I never would have thought in my entire lifetime
that someone like you would ever appear
you threw stones at this glass house to get rid of my shelter
and showed me the truth in what really exists here
you opened my eyes to the rejection and heartache
I saw it all reflected in the ocean in your eyes
the water's cold as November, and the sky is like ashes
but you hide it all with your concealing lies

maybe you chose me before your first breath was ever taken
maybe it was all you could do, fourteen years later, to say that you tried
it might just have been determined by chance alone
it might just have been something inside

maybe this was meant to go on forever
maybe it had already lived and died
it might just be that we're holding on far too long
it might be something we know like the back of our clasped hands,
but it could be just something inside