Just The Way I See Guys Poem by mona martinez

i continue to see guys as all the same,
lying, sex hungry, manipulative,
it what i was first known,
way before i was old enough to know,
i have a hard time trusting guys,
when they hold back,
cause i always feel that sense,
of them hiding sometime,
it don't even have to be something bad,
but cause of my past,
i have learn not to trust easy,
that it easy to trust a guy,
and it be so wrong from what they say,
guess that where actions,
speak louder than words,
been disappointed by men all my life,
i come to a point where i just accept it,
i accept what a man tells me,
because a part of me don't want to be alone,
but being who they want you to be,
and doing things,
that are out of your confort zone,
are just as bad,
you feel empty inside for being tricked,
into just plzing a person,
who had no right to even have that much power,
yet when a person knows to not give in,
to everything you say,
cause in the past you use to man doing what you say,
you use your mind games,
like men have used on you all of these years,
to get what they want,
you see why they go on the weak minded,
being manipultive is not as hard as it looks,
if you understand how the game is played,
it's either you become like your abuser,
or you play the victim,
right now, i don't know who to be,
i find myself playing with minds,
to keep control in my life i think i need,
i don't need to continue to hurt ppl,
it not right,
and yet it something i don't know how to change yet,
i just want to be me,
i don't want to have to pretend,
to be somebody or something,
to feel a sense of worth,
i can only be me.