Kaboom! Poem by Joe Rosochacki

‘Kaboom’! Billy Mays,50, was finished—I found out today.
Even ‘Might Putty’ could have not fixed him.
I wondered if he run out of air, ‘Oxyclean’ would no good for him anyway.
He had an ‘Orange Glow’ around him.
Even though his black beard and full head of hair were without gray.
Did he use ‘Just for Men’ or ‘Grecian formula 44’?
America’s ‘pitch man’ for almost better than 30 years he was walking store.
He hawked many goods including ‘Engrave It’,
‘Handy Switch’, ‘iCan’, ‘Green Now’, ‘Ragazzi Pizza’, ‘Samurai Shark’, ‘Toll Bandit’,
‘Soap-A-Dub-Slop Stopper’, SIMONIZE Instant Shine and ‘fixit! Pro’, ‘What Odor? ,
‘Jupiter Jack’, ‘Omni DualSaw’, ‘Impact Gel Insoles’,
‘Computer Wizard’, ‘Mighty Mend It’,
‘ESPN 360’, ‘Energize’, ‘Emergency defibrillator’,
‘The Ding King’, ‘Big City Slider Station’, ‘Zorbeez’, ‘Steam Buddy’, ‘AwesomeAuger’,
‘Hercules Hook’ and lastly ‘Gopher’. Whew!
What will The Discovery Channel do with its series “Pitchman”?
True, he did not make poster and become Charlie’s Angel,
No, he did not live in Neverland and have plastic surgery,
He didn’t host Star Search and he did not ‘pitch’ for Budweiser.
But, yet he was an icon of sorts.
But some these last few days will go down as a mortal weekend,
Dead are Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Ed McMahon and now Billy Mays.
For those that can see;
Farrah demise was caused cancer.
Michael Jackson’s by possible/probable contraindications by prescription drugs,
Pneumonia complications and bone cancer lead to the demise Ed McMahon.
But Billy Mays died of an apparent bump on his head.
The bump occurred after a tire blew out on landing
-on a jet, a US Airways Jet, he was traveling on.
Billy was not an Idol, but he was the most prolific, loud-mouthed pitchman on TV.

6-28-09